The BIG Question...

 

In my previous blog, I recounted my journey to find my spiritual path, and I answered some of the questions that I’m most frequently asked. I hope you enjoyed that blog. But I did leave the single most commonly asked question out because that one requires an in-depth answer. So much so, that I felt it was a question whose answer deserved its own blog. Read on… 

Before I answer the big question… I feel the need to get a couple of basic things down in writing first… especially for the newer practitioners out there. I have noticed lately an increase in social media posts from people in the Craft who are attempting to dictate to others how to work their own spiritual paths. Posts telling people that they have to do certain things a certain way, or use certain tools, or not use certain herbs or work with certain deities… there was even one post that told people to stop saying that they work with their god(s) because humans aren’t worthy of that kind of relationship with a deity. So let me break this down by subject…

About tools… there are certain tools of the Craft that are very useful, but none are necessary by any means. Some that can be helpful are a bell or chime, a boline, an athame, a wand, a chalice, candles (color depends on the intent of the working), statues of the god(s)/goddess(es) you are working with, incense or resins, a burner or censer for the incense or resins, crystals appropriate to the particular working, etc. These (and many others) are very helpful in ritual or spellwork but are not necessary. Use what works for, and resonates with you. Sometimes, less is more.

An altar is also helpful, but not a must. If you create an altar (please note that it is not spelled alter, as that has an entirely different meaning), it doesn’t have to be elaborate, nor does it have to be a permanent fixture. It can be a collapsing table that you can store in the closet with your other tools when not in use, which is helpful if you’re still in the broom closet or simply have limited space. However, many Wiccans/Witches choose to dedicate a space in their homes for a permanent altar… some, like me and my chosen family, dedicate a specific room in the house for the altar and all the associated tools. Do what works for you.

The one tool that, in my opinion, is absolutely necessary is the Book of Shadows. This can be anything from a simple notebook to an elaborately decorated and bound blank book. It’s your choice. Some even choose to create a digital Book of Shadows on their computer and some choose to have both. Either way, this is where you should write down things you learn relating to your path that you’ll want to refer to in the future, such as spellwork that works (in detail), spellwork that doesn’t work (and perhaps notes about why), rituals for Sabbats and Esbats, bits of wisdom you want to remember, and anything else related to your path and your practice that is important to you. If you’re using a physical book, know that as time passes and your practice grows, you may need to create additional volumes. However, you should never throw away the older stuff you write! Keep it for future reference, if only to reflect on where you started and how far you’ve come from time to time. I recommend recording the date on each entry, as you would in a journal or diary, to help you establish a timeline. This can also be helpful in the future if/when you are helping a newcomer with creating their own path. Your Book of Shadows (BOS) should always be kept in a safe place where you can easily access it, as it contains your knowledge and experience in working your path.

Sidebar: Regarding spellwork… I have seen people on various social media platforms posting things like “Last night, I did a spell for (insert goal here). This is what I did and what I used in detail.” Sometime later, I often see that same person posting “Remember that spell I told you about? Well, it worked, but not the way I wanted it to work.” Now, I get that people may want to share their experiences with others, thinking that it can be helpful. That’s all well and good, but there’s a problem with this when it comes to active spells. Talking about it to others before the spell has produced results exposes the energy of the spell to the opinions and energies of others. This can seriously change, limit, or cancel out the work you have done because spellwork is the manipulation of energy directed toward a specific outcome. The energy of others can and does skew the energy you have sent out in the spell. Here’s the general rule… NEVER discuss your active spellwork before it has produced the results you desire.

With regards to doing things a certain way… your methods are going to be unique to you because this is YOUR path. There are some basic elements of spellwork that are necessary, but the structure will be of your choosing. You can find more information in the book I mentioned in my last blog, Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham. He gives the basic elements and structure of spellwork, which you can use as a guide to create your own methods.

With regards to deity… I will speak at length later in this blog regarding my relationship with deity. Whatever your path, however you perceive deity, know this… if a particular deity resonates with you, learn all you can about that deity. Research their history, the culture of their origin, the mythos, and realms of power of that deity… and if it feels right for you to work with that deity, then do so. But do so with as much knowledge of that deity as possible. This is true even if you believe as I do, that we are deity. Why? Because when you are doing spiritual work, it is often helpful to have a focal point… a physical representation of the aspect of deity that is needed to successfully create your desired outcome. Even believing as I do on this subject, I often work with various representations of deity… Pan, Hecate, Hermes, and various others. I do so because it helps me to focus my intent, access my own personal power, and manifest my desired outcome.

Now, a word here about those practitioners who would tell others how to walk their own spiritual path… Stop! Each person’s path is their own. Each person creates it in their own way, learns in their own time, and uses what works for them. No one has the authority to tell you how to practice your own spirituality. No. One. Those who presume to tell you that you’re doing it all wrong because you don’t do it the way they do are usually acting out of ego. When I see social media posts like this, or hear someone speaking to another in this way, all kinds of red flags go up in my head. Ignore them, politely, and work your own path your own way. 

Now, of course, if you’re a member of a coven or tradition and they are teaching you about the Craft and how they do things, that’s another situation altogether. Many traditions/covens teach their members to do things a specific way, to have specific tools, etc. These teachings are unique to that specific tradition or coven. If you are going to work together, you need to all be on the same page in order to be effective. The same is true if you have asked someone to teach you. These situations are not what I’m addressing here.

The sharing of methods and information with each other, whether it is among coven/tradition members or solitary practitioners is perfectly fine because there is much to learn from each other. In sharing methods and ideas, one can find a more comfortable or effective way of accomplishing a working, and can even gain a new perspective on things. This is especially true in a coven or tradition where it is understood that things are done a specific way by all members in order to prevent chaos and be as effective as possible. 

The problem arises when some random person tells you that their way is the only way or the right way. There is no only way to do any of this… there are a million ways to do anything. The important thing is what works for YOU. That is the right way for you.

Now, about the issue of cultural appropriation of tools, herbs, and even deities. This has become a huge concern of late, and it does have an effect on one’s spiritual practice. Dictionary.com defines Cultural Appropriation as “the unacknowledged or inappropriate adoption of the customs, practices, ideas, etc. of one people or society by members of another and typically more dominant people or society.” Is it real? Yes. Is it an issue in the Pagan community? Yes. Is it harmful to other cultures? Yes. How do I feel about it? Well, that depends on the specific situation, as there are many variables that determine whether it is really Cultural Appropriation or not.

If you are adopting, for example, the practice of burning white sage to smudge a space, it could be cultural appropriation. White sage is a sacred herb to many Native American cultures. It has a long history of use and reverence within the spiritual practices of those cultures. For starters, sage is a medicine, and traditionally, medicines are to be gifted, not sold. It is one of the four sacred medicines: Tobacco, cedar, sage, and sweet grass. These are traditional medicines that have physical qualities for medicinal purposes, and a spiritual aspect used in traditional healing and ceremonies. Medicines, like everything else in Native American culture, are used carefully, with specific intent, and sparingly. 

One of the first lessons I learned when living with the Navajo and Hopi was “Nature provides what is needed. Take only what you need, and thank the spirit of the plant or animal for its sacrifice.” How many non-Native people do you know that actually practice this or even think about it? Precious few, I’m sure. Most non-Native people that have adopted the burning of white sage have done so mostly because it’s popular now, and they have little to no knowledge of the history or meaning of this herb to the Indigenous peoples. There is also concern that non-Native people who use it in this way are infringing upon the cultural importance and authenticity of the ritual and prayer… and that is cultural appropriation.

White sage has become so popular with Pagans and Neo-Pagans alike for smudging that it is being grossly over-harvested and is quickly becoming endangered. The over-harvesting is due, primarily, to the Pagan supply industry, which is simply cashing in on a profitable fad within the community. Profit is their main goal. The same is true for Palo Santo. This mass-harvesting and mass-marketing of these herbs purely for monetary profit is blatant cultural appropriation. Again, white sage is a medicine, and medicines traditionally are to be gifted.

But, even as a person of Native American heritage, I do not have the right to tell anyone not to use it at all. Your spiritual practice is, indeed, yours and yours alone. Instead, I can make them aware of the situation and suggest other herbs to use. There are many herbs that serve the same purpose… such as Juniper, Rosemary, Mugwort, Cedar, Blue Sage, Desert Sage, Bay, and Lavender, among others. Any of those herbs can be used just as effectively instead of White Sage or Palo Santo and they are not in danger of extinction. I can also suggest that practitioners look into their own cultural heritage to discover what their ancestors used for cleansing a space. Sounds, such as a chime or a singing bowl, work just as well, by the way, and do not require the burning of anything. This is useful if smoke in the space is an issue.

However, if you simply MUST use white sage, consider growing your own. Any good plant nursery will have plants and/or seeds for sale, and they are relatively easy to grow. This will help efforts to preserve the species, is much less expensive for you, and allows you to harvest only what’s needed and leave the rest to grow for later. Seriously, you don’t need an entire thick bundle of white sage, or any other herb, to cleanse a space! A few dried leaves placed on a burning charcoal (the type used to burn incense) will do. You could also dry the leaves ahead of time, and use your mortar and pestle to grind them into powder, which you would then sprinkle on the burning charcoal as needed. Either way, just fan the smoke gently as you move around the space.

Regarding cleansing a space… the goal is not to banish negative energy, contrary to popular belief. That would create an imbalance. The goal is to balance the negative and positive energies that are present. There must be balance in all things, otherwise, energy becomes chaotic and will seek its own balance in any way possible. This can lead to very unpredictable, and usually unwanted, results. Please keep that in mind.

And now that we’ve discussed all of that, I suppose it’s time to answer the big one… Do I believe in God? This one requires a more detailed answer than just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’… 

I do believe in a higher power, but not as most people conceive of it. I don’t believe there is some all-knowing, all-seeing, wrathful entity sitting in the clouds on a throne getting pissed off if I don’t worship them and commit myself to a life of servitude in their name. Quite frankly, I would never want to serve a god like that, ever. 

This is where the One Soul comes in because the One Soul is divinity. Because each living creature that exists, has existed, or will exist contains a part of that One Soul, it knows all through experiencing life via those life forms. By extension, because each one of us possesses a portion of the One Soul, we are divinity experiencing life on this plane as ourselves. As divine beings, we have the power to create our own reality, and we do so with every breath we take. This is not something we are usually conscious of doing, but if you know anything at all about manifesting, you’re on the right track. “God” lives within each of us, whether we’re human, animal, insect, plant, or fungus. If a thing is alive, then it possesses a piece of the One Soul and it is divine. Because of this understanding of the One Soul, one of my personal mantras is “All life is sacred”.

For clarity, I am not saying that we are Gods in the sense that most people define the word. However, I am saying that a part of God… the One Soul… is in each of us, and that is divinity. Even the Bible has at least seven scriptures that refer to God/the Holy Spirit/the Kingdom of God living within us. Coincidence? I think not. I believe that it is alluding to exactly what I believe… the One Soul is real, it is divinity, and a part of it is within each and everything that has lived, is living, or will ever live. 

This is why I do not bow in worship to anyone or anything. I am not subservient to any gods, nor do I fear them. Instead, I walk with them and have a working relationship with them, because they are us and we are them. I say “them” for two reasons… first, because there is a duality of energy to the force we call god. There is the nurturing, healing, creative, life-giving energy which is often perceived as feminine or goddess energy. Then there is also the destructive, protective, aggressive energy which is often perceived as masculine or god energy. While I recognize the duality, I tend not to ascribe those characteristics to a particular gender. It seems a bit off to me, as I have known very nurturing, healing men and very protective, aggressive, and even destructive women. But we, as humans, tend to assign gender roles to certain characteristics, hence the god/goddess images one sees throughout history.

The second reason I say “them” is that every one of us sees god differently. Take for example the various pantheons of history. If you do your research, you will see that each pantheon… Greek, Roman, Egyptian, etc… has a god or goddess with the same or very similar mythos as a god or goddess in the other pantheons. For example, the god of speed and communication is Hermes in the Greek pantheon and Mercury in the Roman pantheon. Their mythos is incredibly similar and their realms of power are as well. Why? Because gods and goddesses are the human mind’s way of attempting to quantify something it can not completely understand. In order to do this, humans turn them into human-like beings with faces, names, and boundaries to their power. We imbue them with human-like feelings, emotions, limitations, and personalities and create mythos around them that mirrors human situations. This is not, at all, by accident or coincidence. It is deliberate, and perhaps, subliminal in origin. We need to see how they resolve difficult human situations in order to try to predict outcomes and figure out how to deal with those situations ourselves.

But spirituality isn’t just about gods and goddesses. It’s also about personal power and self-worth. Witchcraft, in general, is about reclaiming your personal power, knowing your worth, and setting your boundaries. It is about consciously creating your own reality. It is about recognizing that all things, at their core, are made of energy. To practice witchcraft, one learns to tune into that energy and manipulate it on a quantum level in order to produce a desired outcome. Yes, in this way, quantum physics comes into play here, whether you’re conscious of it or not. There is science behind witchcraft… and it doesn’t matter if you’re a Witch, a Wiccan, a Druid, or whatever term you identify your path by. 

Now that I’ve introduced you to a potentially mind-blowing concept, take a moment and ponder it seriously. If we each share a part of the same soul, then we are each other. If we are each other, then when we do harm to another… be they human, animal, fly on the wall, whatever… then we harm ourselves. If we try to see the world through their eyes, imagine ourselves in the place of the person you’re angry with for example, we discover compassion for them instead of hatred. We find an understanding of them, rather than fear. We return, instead, to love. If, as witches, we hex or curse someone for doing us wrong… who are we really harming? Are we not, by extension, harming ourselves? Would it not be more humane and productive to learn the lessons contained in the situation, and then wish our wrongdoers all that they deserve? 

This leaves it up to karma. Karma, contrary to modern Western beliefs, is not a bitch or vengeance… it is a mirror that reflects your actions and energies back on you. It is a form of divine justice, of returning intent and energy to its originator. If you do harmful things or act with negative intent, that will come back to you and you will find yourself on the receiving end of it. It may not happen right away... karma takes it's own sweet time... but it will come back to you when the time is right. Most people who act out of revenge do so because they want their adversary to understand how they were made to feel by the adversary’s actions or words. Revenge, magical or otherwise, only perpetrates more harm and negativity. Karma, on the other hand, creates a situation for the adversary that allows them to experience what they inflicted on you in a way that they can learn and understand what they have done to you. That is karmic justice.

I hope that I have answered some questions and that it has resonated with some of you. You will undoubtedly hear more about the One Soul tradition in the near future. Eric is in the process of writing it all down, which takes time, and he plans to publish a book about it once he’s done writing it because it might just be what someone out there needs to help them make sense of this world and the life they are living. In the meantime, if this makes sense to you and you want to know more about the One Soul tradition, leave a comment on this blog and I will be in touch.

 

On Finding My Spiritual Path…

I’m often asked about my spiritual path. People seem to be curious about what I believe and how I came to the path I follow. “Are you Pagan?” “Are you Wiccan?” “What tradition are you?” “Do you believe in God?” “What brought you to this path?” These are among the most common questions I’m asked regarding my beliefs. The answer is simple, yet complicated to explain. Here, I will attempt to give a general overview of my journey to my path, which will hopefully answer some of these questions.

Finding my spiritual path was, indeed, a journey. To give you an accurate context, I have to begin at the beginning….

I was raised the son of a Southern Baptist minister and was expected to be in church whenever the doors were open, whether I wanted to or not. I was very close to my maternal grandparents but never met my paternal grandparents because they passed before I was born. This is important to note because my maternal grandparents had a large role in shaping my spirituality. 

My maternal grandmother immigrated to America from Scotland when she was around 14 years old, which means she came here sometime around 1915 or so. My maternal grandfather was raised on the NC Cherokee reservation but left there as a young man. I spent many hours as a child listening to their stories. Both spoke perfect English, but grandmother preferred to speak Gaelic at home, just as grandfather preferred to speak Tsalagi Gawonihisdi (the Cherokee language) at home. English was used in public in order to not stand out as “different”, as well as to facilitate communication with those who didn’t speak either language. Because of this, I simultaneously learned both of their native languages as well as English, which was the only language spoken in my parents’ home.

But I digress… as I grew older, the church wasn’t where I wanted to be, and I quietly rebelled. The whole “faith-by-fear” concept (“If you aren’t saved you will burn in hell”) and the contradictions I heard in church, such as “God makes no mistakes, but you are imperfect and must atone for your sins” simply didn’t sit well with me. If God makes no mistakes, I pondered, then why would he make anyone imperfect? 

I started exploring other belief systems, searching for something that made sense. My jaunts to the public library on Saturdays were a prime opportunity to explore whatever belief system had come to my attention that week. Fortunately, I’m a fast reader and have good retention, so I was able to cover a lot of ground quickly and gather the information I needed.

My literary excursions quickly schooled me on many different faiths and spiritualities such as IChing, Taoism, Buddhism, Druidry, Native American spirituality (which I had also learned from my grandfather), Witchcraft, Atheism, traditional Celtic beliefs (The Old Ways, as my grandmother referred to it), and many others. I also dove into Catholicism, Protestantism, and other Bible-based beliefs just in case I misunderstood what I had been hearing in church. It turned out that I wasn’t misunderstanding. The contradictions and faith-by-fear concepts seemed pretty much universal within all Christian beliefs. But within each of the non-Christian belief systems, there were key elements that made sense, and many of those were common from one belief system to the next. Maybe, I thought, I’m on to something here…

My next move was to check out a book called Heather: Confessions of a Witch - a most interesting read, to say the least. By the end of the book, my curiosity was peaked. The story, which was supposedly a true account, did seem a bit sensationalized, but there was still solid information in there. 

My next book was Diary of a Witch by Sybil Leek. This book confirmed my growing suspicion… I was a witch. Why, you ask? Simply because it all made perfect sense. My active mind had been pondering so many “mysteries” of life for some time that Christianity seemed to be afraid to answer. I found quite a few of those answers in witchcraft, and they aligned perfectly with what I had felt to be factual. I also found no contradictions, no faith-by-fear (Satan is a Christian construct), and no feelings of forced servitude as I had found in Christianity. Oh… and no judging of others. People were allowed to be themselves, without shame or apology, and flaws or shortcomings were normal human things, and they were something to dive deeply into for understanding and improvement. There was also no proselytization. It never felt right to me to try and shame or frighten anyone to believe as I did, nor did it ever feel right to me to force my beliefs on anyone else. I finally understood who I was, and I had found deep spiritual meaning and purpose.

(A word about Satan being a Christian construct… Satan is unique to the Abrahamic religions and is usually related to demonology. During the time of the Crusades, when the Catholic Church was forcing Pagans to convert and murdering those that would not, it came to the Church’s attention that there was, in many Pagan pantheons, a horned god. In Celtic lore, for example, he was Cernunnos, the god of the wood. He was depicted with antlers and sometimes cloven hooves and was the protector of the forest and all that lived there. The Church took his image, and removed all references to woodland creatures, changed the antlers into horns, gave him a pointy tail, and red skin, removed the snake from his left hand, and replaced the torque he held in his right hand with a pitchfork. His mythos was then adapted, using the Biblical story of Lucifer (a fallen angel) making him a being of pure evil who lived in a place of fire, brimstone, and eternal damnation called Hell. The Church then had a convenient device by which they could force conversion based on fear of eternal burning and damnation. Satan, however, is a myth and so is Hell.)

By the time I was 18, I had abandoned the church, agreeing only to grace its door when absolutely necessary… a family funeral or wedding, perhaps. Even then, I arrived at the last minute and was the first to leave at the end of the services. I didn’t feel comfortable in the house of hypocrisy, where fear and contradictions ruled the masses. I had also come to accept by this time that I was gay, and I knew that neither the church nor their god wanted me there. I’ve never been one to remain where I am unwanted or uncomfortable.

For the next four years or so, I gathered what information I could on witchcraft from whatever sources I could find. Library books, grandmother’s book of shadows (written in Gaelic) that I had covertly absconded with when she crossed over (she had passed when I was 8), and a few friends that I had met whose parents practiced the craft. I also spent more time talking with my grandfather, who had a working knowledge of my grandmother’s path but was also a wealth of information about his own path as a Native American. Slowly, I began to see commonalities between his path and my grandmother’s and began to integrate the two paths into one of my own. 

For clarity, I must add here that I was dealing with substance abuse from the ages of 20 to 22. I had always been overweight as a child, and at the age of 19… my first year of college… I began a weight loss program that actually worked (enhanced in the last 4 months by speed… the real stuff, not caffeine pills). I lost 110 pounds in an 8-month period, met my first boyfriend, became sexually active, and was suddenly very popular. Everyone wanted to go out with me, and be my “friend”. It was at one of those parties with my boyfriend and several of our mutual friends, that I tried heroin for the first time. 

Over the next two years, my relationship ended, my addiction got worse, and I was trying other drugs like “magic mushrooms”, acid, cocaine, poppers, and a few others. Eventually, I overdosed on heroin that I didn’t know was nearly pure. I was pronounced dead 3 times that day and survived. Yes, I had the whole near-death, white-light experience, which was eye-opening and destroyed my fear of death. I kicked the drugs cold turkey after that, but that is a subject for a future blog.

In 1988, the year of my 26th birthday, a wonderful new book came to my attention. Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham was published and I bought a copy as soon as I had the money. Money had always been something I had precious little of, but I managed to scrape together enough to get this book. It was a life-changing tome! Here, in the pages of this softcover book, was all the information I needed to start off my spiritual path anew in an organized manner. Questions I had been seeking to answer for many years were answered here. I was thrilled to have this new source of knowledge and thrilled that buying this book was a great investment. I had never heard the term “Wicca” before, except in passing while reading about Gerald Gardner, but this book explained what it was. After reading the entire book, I dedicated myself to Wicca as a solitary practitioner. Note: for those beginning to explore Wicca, or those just wanting to understand it better, I highly recommend this as your first book on the subject.

In 1996, I was introduced to a wonderful man who was a lifelong Druid, and we quickly fell in love. I learned much from him, including that I was perfectly free to create my own spiritual path using whatever made sense to me. This revelation was a breakthrough! I returned to everything I had learned from studying all those other paths as a teenager, including what I had learned from my grandmother and grandfather, and began to sort out what worked best for me and made the most sense. My spiritual practice was, once again, a joy as well as an adventure as it transformed into something that was much more “me”. There was one complication though… I never knew how to answer when someone asked “Are you Wiccan?” or “What tradition are you?” Everything spiritual in my life was in a constant state of evolution, and it seemed like there was suddenly so much to learn. But it was obvious to me that I didn’t fit into any of the traditions that I had heard of.

After 10 years of a wonderful relationship, the love of my life died peacefully in my arms from AIDS-related complications. My life was changed again. I had never witnessed anyone take their final breath, much less someone I loved. I knew it was his time… that his work here was done… and I wasn’t afraid, but I still wasn’t prepared. Words are inadequate to describe it, but I felt him leave. I felt his soul break free of the human form and just leave. It was so beautiful, yet so heartbreaking, too. On the one hand, he was free… no more pain, no more illness, no more annoying minutia to deal with of being in human form. On the other hand, he was everything to me. I had never known that I could love so deeply until he came into my life. And now, he was gone and I was alone again.

For the next 13 years, I grieved while trying to “find myself” again. I had wrapped my entire world around him so completely, that I had lost myself. Everything was in question… how was I going to live without the man I loved, who was I, why did he have to go, was I destined to be alone now, and how did my spiritual path fit into all that had happened? So many questions, so few answers. I was in a personal crisis. I could have just shut down, closed myself off, and gone through the motions of living, but that wasn’t me. I have always been one who, in times of crisis, pulls his shit together and deals with it. I can break down and cry after it’s done if needed. So that’s what I did. I pulled my shit together and went on a search… for answers, for my spiritual path, and for myself. 

Along the way, I ended up spending some time exploring my Native heritage… not my genealogy, but my heritage. I spent time with the Navajo and the Hopi, learning what I could about their traditions and history. Yes, my grandfather was Cherokee and my paternal grandmother (who passed before I was born) was Haliwa-Saponi, but I wanted the perspective of other nations. It was during this time that I experienced my first sweat lodge and my first vision quest. That time is a subject for a future blog to share details, but I will say that it was an epiphany.

I eventually landed in Chicago, where I lived for 6 years. I found myself positioned perfectly to attend the annual Pow Wow, which helped me continue to feel connected to my ancestry and even learn more about it. I never really had a circle of pagan friends, though. Although I had met various people throughout my adult life that were involved in Wicca, witchcraft, druidry, or other such spiritual paths, I seldom found myself socializing much with any of them. On the rare occasion that I did pursue friendships with them, I never felt that I “fit in” with them or those they hung out with. My beliefs were similar but so different from theirs, and my experiences were completely out of their realm of reference, so there was never much we could really connect about. I remained solitary in my practice and in all other aspects of my life. Dating had not been on my radar since my partner had passed because I just never found anyone that I felt was worth the time and energy of building a relationship. Those I did meet were just looking to hook up, which isn’t something I’m usually interested in. Most people don’t “get” me without spending the time to truly get to know me. I guess I’m just used to being a loner…

In 2008, while on my computer at home in Chicago, I stumbled across a chat group called Pagan Men for Men. Sounded interesting, so I set up an account and started chatting with a few guys on there. They were welcoming, and friendly, and they all had different beliefs with some commonalities. I quickly became friends with a few of them, and we discussed many things spiritual and secular. 

At some point, perhaps a month or two later, I became aware of one person in particular. His real name was Eric. He was kind, open-minded, compassionate, wise, and friendly. But this was different for two reasons… I could feel strong chemistry between us, and it was like he knew me better than I knew myself. Seriously, he just knew personal stuff that I had never shared with anyone. I was blown away and spent many hours chatting with him online. That soon gave way to exchanging phone numbers and talking on the phone for hours on end almost every night. Now, I’m not one to give my number out to random people, nor am I one to meet someone online and set up an in-person meeting. I’ve heard too many horror stories about that! I’m also very guarded with personal info. But this was different. I had no concerns about Eric. There were no “red flags”, no second thoughts, and no negatives at all. It was as if the Universe had brought us together because we were supposed to be in each other’s lives. Eventually, I ended up meeting him in Florida where he was visiting family, spending some time with him there, and then driving with him to his home in Massachusetts. It turned out that Massachusetts was where I was supposed to be, and even though Eric and I were not meant to be in a relationship, he is still part of my chosen family that I live with, and my best friend.

Eric follows his own spiritual path, which has since evolved into his own coven and tradition. (For clarity, a coven is a gathering of witches who follow the same tradition. A tradition is a specific spiritual belief system with its own set of beliefs and practices, some of which may or may not be common among other traditions.) Eric’s tradition is called One Soul, and the coven is the One Soul Coven. I dare say that most people have never heard of this coven or tradition, but that’s because it is still in its infancy. Let me explain…

The One Soul tradition is based on the belief that there is only one soul, which most people perceive as God. Each living thing holds a piece of that soul for the purpose of experiencing life on this plane of existence in that particular form. That can be a person, an animal, or insect, or anything else that is living. Each life has its own experiences, and at the end of that life, that part of the One Soul returns to its source and processes those life experiences before returning as another life to experience more. In other words, the One Soul (or Source) is experiencing everything, all at once, through every life that ever was, is, or will be. In this sense, we are all each other, because we share that One Soul (Source). 

Yes, it might sound confusing or over-simplified to read that, but when you dive into it, there is a perfect sense to all of this. In a future blog, I will expand on this topic. For right now, just know that this is my path. I’m still a witch, and working the craft is a massive part of my spirituality. Following the One Soul tradition has helped me see things from another perspective. It has helped me find compassion in situations where that’s not the obvious viewpoint to take. It has helped me rediscover and reclaim my own personal power. More importantly, it has provided answers to questions that I never thought I would find answers for. 

I suppose now is the time to answer those questions we began with. Am I Wiccan? Yes, but not as most people understand Wicca. My path is my own, created and recreated many times by me, for me. Am I Pagan? Yes, but Paganism seems to have evolved into a convenient little box to put anyone into that doesn’t follow Christianity, so the answer is really yes, but no. What tradition am I? One Soul and I am a founding member of the One Soul Coven, which currently has 4 members, counting myself. What level are you in your coven? We don’t yet have “levels” or “degrees”, but I have been a practicing witch for over 40 years and I am Clergy (or High Priest, in Pagan terms), ordained, and registered with my state. I can legally perform weddings, handfastings, funerals, conduct ministerial counseling, etc.  

This, and so much more, is what I have learned on my spiritual path. Every situation I found myself in… every world-shattering experience I had… every person I have met on my journey… every moment of pain and ecstasy… has led me here. None of it was by accident or coincidence. I do not, in fact, believe in coincidence. All of this was agreed to by the part of the One Soul inside me prior to my conception. I needed to have these experiences, feel these emotions, and learn these lessons in order to fully experience the life that is me. The end result, so far, is that I have evolved into a more true version of who I am meant to be. I have had experiences in my own life that allow me to feel empathetic to others in similar situations and to treat those people with love, respect, and dignity. Nothing I experienced, no person that has crossed my path, in my nearly 61 years of life was by accident.

The fact that I am gay was no accident, either. No, it wasn’t a choice I made as I grew… it was a choice I made on a soul level before my conception. How else would I understand what it’s like to be a gay man, born in the South in the 1960s, living through the AIDS crisis in the 1980s, and being politically persecuted extensively in 2023? I am gay because I am supposed to be gay. For all the pain that I have endured in my life, all the loneliness and rejection, all the victimization and vilification that I have endured… I would not change one bit of it, even if I could. THIS is who I was meant to be; I could not be who I am without those experiences. 

I hope this answers some questions, and that it has resonated with some of you. My next blog will expand on the foundation of the One Soul Tradition, as I answer the most common question people ask… “Do you believe in God?” The answer is not what you might think…